I find myself attracted to the inclusive “and.” My experience dancing in the rhythm of Jesus is both individual and communal-alone and with-I and we. I am more alive living in the “and” than in the “or.”
Archives for 2008
The First Battle
My daughter and I had our first battle…
She has been an incredibly mild-mannered, calm, personable little 10-month old. She loves people, loves to be held, loves to eat, loves to play “climb on daddy.”
But…she is getting older, stronger, and more mobile and, therefore, more independent.
I was getting ready to change her diaper the other night and she refused to lay on her back and let me do it. I understand that this is typical; that, if she just lay there calmly all of the time, I should probably be worried. I’m not saying she kind of moved from side-to-side, I’m saying she was flopping like a fresh-caught salmon on the banks of an Alaskan river. She was NOT going to let me get her diaper on. She lived under the misconception that she was in charge–that she knew what was best.
How similar am I to Ava. In the loving care of Father, I flop around because I’m deceived into thinking that I am in charge–that I know what’s best. I live in the deception that independence is best, fighting dependency with everything that I am.
Assuming the posture of dependency…is it the fruit of disicpleship, the pre-requisite of discipleship, or both?
New thought :: I model for Ava the posture of dependence or independence.
Another thought :: I teach Ava how to listen to Father both by how I live and how I father.
It’s bizarre seeing myself in the shape of a flopping, naked, female infant I call Ava.
The Pursuit of the Pursued
Much of my life is spent in pursuit of others. I think I’ve always been this way. I was never one to wait around to see if I was going to a call or an invite–I was the one to do the calling and to make the invites.
I’m attracted to pursuers. I experience a unique depth of friendship with other pursuers. Perhaps it’s because the experience is mutual…
I’m also realizing that I have an expectation to be pursued by those who have influence over me…that when it doesn’t happen, I feel let down and the relationship takes a hit. Is this right or wrong? I’m not sure, but it is my experience and I can’t seem to shut that off.
I love to pursue…I love being pursued.
Some questions have begun to emerge for me…
Do I let myself be pursued by God?
Is He in pursuit of me still?
If being pursued takes horizontal relationships to a deeper level of intimacy, is this my vertical experience?
Is there a mutual pursuit required?
Do I pursue others in response to my God who pursues me?
Do I and others experience God’s pursuit in community with one another?
Trust isn’t Profitable
I was recently sitting over a cup of coffee with a friend and we were talking about the need for trust in our lives. Trust seems to be this bizarre concept that ever eludes us more and more in a culture disposed toward control.
We were two sociologists critiquing our context when he said, “Trust isn’t profitable.” That made it personal…and true.
We smiled at each other…the conversation was over.
Living Deceived?
I was reflecting on the journey of unhealthy independence that Adam and Eve embarked. I’m wondering, as I read Genesis 3, what was the lie that they bought?
Imagine two people living in perfect community with God and with each other. They were created as fully alive human beings who got their identity, security, worth, value, significance from simply being in relationship with the Creator. Then, the devil shows up in the form of a serpent and starts a dialogue with Eve by asking a question.
There’s nothing wrong with asking a question. Eve went wrong, though, in getting in a dialogue with the Devil–it’s never a good idea to get in a dialogue with the master deceiver in whom is zero truth! His question is a legit question, saturated in curiosity and, likely, deception:
Did God really say you couldn’t eat from any tree in the garden?
Eve steps into the dialogue and in the context of the conversation begins to remember Creator more tragically than He is.
We can eat from any tree except for the one in the middle. We musn’t eat from that one, or touch it, or we will surely die.
Is that what God said? Turing back a few verses, we see Creator talking to Adam using the language of freedom and abundance with boundaries. He does say they must not eat from the tree in the middle because they they’ll die–but He never says anything about touching it.
You won’t die (said the Devil)…you’ll be more alive than you are right now!
Satan is deceiving Eve into believing that she’s been duped. She’s not fully alive! There is something that she can do to make her more alive than she is right now. He says, “See that tree? Tasty huh? Go, Take, Eat and you’ll really be alive!”
So she does. And in that moment, Eve transitioned from a human being into a human doing. Her identity and significance and security are no longer going to be coming from being in relationship with Creator…they were now going to come from her doing.
I live in that same deception. I do not live like I’m convinced that God created me as a fully alive human being who gets life from being in relationship with Him. I live as a human doing, trying to get what I already have available to me.
Hearing myself write, I guess I’ve been living deceived for quite some time.
It’s been killing me.
It’s time to let Him guide me back into a human being.
Third Wave Coffee and Jazz Music
On Sunday, I found myself throwing the frisbee with someone I didn’t know. We went from, “Wow–great toss!” to “Hey–what’s your name?” to “What do you do?” It was a pretty natural progression as far as conversations go.
Of course, my answer to the last question was, “I’m a pastor of a church in Walnut Creek called Open Door,” to which he responded, “Oh really? What’s your church like.”
My immediate response was, “Well, it tastes a lot like espresso and sounds a lot like Jazz Music.” I was thinking about how we adopt local coffee shops and pubs and keep showing up there as well as our connection with the jazz community in the Bay Area. But then I started to reflect on it more and was surprised by the truth behind that statement.
“It tastes a lot like espresso.”
I’ve come to love the subculture of specialty coffee. Because of my friendship with the owners of Pacific Bay Coffee Co. in Walnut Creek, I have become exposed to a world that I didn’t even know existed. And, because of our experience at the Barista Championships, I discovered a whole network of “Third Wave” coffee joints–one of which I now frequent every time I’m in Sacramento.
“Third Wave.”
To explain, this is the term used to describe coffee shops who see themselves standing on the shoulders of Folgers and Columbia House (First Wave) and Starbucks and Peet’s (2nd Wave) to get really well done espresso into the hands of the community. The Third Wave shops aren’t interested in you getting in and getting out, but take care to help you embrace the fullness of the coffee experience.
I have watched as this network of Third Wave shops collaborate with each other and how, as a result, they all get better at what they do. They share ideas, helpful practices, baristas, music, espresso beans, etc. They are constantly pushing each other to dream bigger and to experiment more. There is a longing to connect with origin (coffee farms) to understand coffee better and to help holistically enhance life for those on the farms.
They are not interested in becoming the bastians of the coffee world like the Second Wave shops. Take note, though–Starbucks, known for catering to the consumer, has lost its identity and is trying to regain its roots. They are no longer offering breakfast sandwiches because their shops don’t smell like coffee anymore. Interesting huh?
Can the church learn anything from Third Wave Coffee?
“It sounds a lot like Jazz music.”
What I love about and learn from Jazz music…
It is an ongoing conversation.
There really isn’t any difference between performers and listeners. They all are a part of the experience.
It is always different based on the musicians who show up.
Anyone can contribute.
It is better when more musicians contribute.
It is never the same twice.
It builds on the past with creative liberty.
It is messy at times–and that’s okay–it’s cool, really, because something new emerges.
Leadership can seamlessly shift–it needs to in order to stay fresh.
Can the church lean anything from Jazz Music?